What does premarital counselling program include?

     Journal of Family Relations found that 79% of couples or partners who had participated in premarital counselling had a better relationship after marriage than those who did not. In addition, the Journal of Family Psychology tracked 4 states in the United States and found that premarital counselling can increase relationship satisfaction by 30% within 5 years, and the risk of divorce is reduced by 30%. Therefore, premarital counselling is indispensable for couples preparing or planning for wedding.

     Furthermore, we found that there are many couples who have deepened their understanding of each other after undergoing premarital counselling. During the counselling process, they sincerely talked and discussed many topics that neither of them had the opportunity to truly communicate before. Through premarital counselling, the couples discovered many precious things in the relationship between them and experienced much touching moment, thus breaking through the bottleneck of the relationship, making the relationship more intimate and stable, and became the soul mate of each other. Therefore, premarital counselling helps couples stepping into marriage, committing into the marriage, holding hands with each other for life, and preventing separated or divorce.

     The program of premarital counselling can include followings, which is based on family system theory, integrated with multiple counselling therapy approaches, tailor-made for the couples, and the counselling effect is remarkable:

  • Personality Test for Free: There are many differences between two persons. Through the Enneagram personality test, you can deepen your understanding of yourself and the other, understand each other's differences, learn to accept each other, ally and synchronize, and clearly know the direction of personal growth and development. (Remark : Enneagram personality test is only available in Chinese)
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  • Enriching Communication: Men and women have different ways of expressing themselves. Generally, men are more rational, while women are more emotional, which unfortunately and easily cause misunderstanding. In the process of premarital counselling, the couple will learn how to narrow the differences on the one hand, and they can improve mutual understanding on the other hand, meanwhile they can grasp variety ways of effective expressing and receiving love, it is not only to give, but also to see each other's heart and to receive each other's kindness, so that the couple will become the soul mate of each other that they will be satisfied that they can receive care and support mutually.
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  • Conflict handling: Couples will naturally run-in conflict with their personal differences in the marriage. Premarital counselling enhances their awareness, so that they will gain ability to understand how their communication leading to conflicts and their interaction falling into negative cycle, at the end even forming sense of helplessness among them. Premarital counselling helps the couple change their negative cycle of interaction to positive ones, get out of helplessness, develop misunderstanding into mutual growth, cultivate positive energy in the relationship, and build up foundation for healthy marriage.
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  • Marriage decision: Everyone has different reasons for entering marriage. From single to marriage, the changes are critical and tense; when two persons are living together, the interaction with each other will be much closer and the space for oneself will be much less than before, someone may have fear, too. If the couple do not fully understand or communicate deep enough, when one party has negative emotion, and another party does not know how to deal with the other, the atmosphere, relationship and intimacy will easily deteriorate. If the first stage of marriage does not well start, there will inevitably be more difficulties or obstacles in the future.
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  • Married and family life: After marriage, we will have to face and deal with many practical affairs in the reality, such as role division, housework arrangement, economy and finance issues, leisure time and entertainment, etc. Though these are trivial, they can be the source of quarrel and conflict between the couple. Fully communicate and understand each other by premarital counselling will help well prepare the couple to prevent problems from happening.
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  • Wedding arrangement: Planning and preparing for wedding is usually the first big challenge for the couple to cooperate on important matters. There are many aspects to be considered, it involves not only the couple, but also the parents, relatives and friends of both parties. Due to the differences in expectation and requirement, conflict easily happen. Wedding arrangement is not only challenge, but also an opportunity for mutual learning, growth and in-depth communication through the intervention of premarital counselling.
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  • Marriage and family expected picture: Life planning include personal and career development, for the next generation, for the elder parents, the entire family or even the family vision will be involved, as a matter of fact, marriage is not about oneself, these will affect the marriage and family picture of the couple and each other’s planning. If lack of communication, misunderstanding will easily cause conflict, therefore; it is very important to fully communicate, understand and support each other.
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  • Children's planning: In addition to the timing issue, there are also expectation of the number(s) of children and gender. The couple need to communicate the parenting style, daily care issues, and detailed arrangement, etc., and the grandparents' expectation also need to be handled.
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  • The influence of the family of origin: The communication and attachment pattern are particularly emphasized here. The influence of the parents on us, about the relationship among our parents, the relationship between our parents and us, and the relationship difference among our parents and our brother(s) and sister(s) between us, these will directly and indirectly affect our perception values, our couple relationship, our family relationship, our expectation on the family and on the children, etc.
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  • In-laws relationship: Especially about holiday arrangement and visit, lack of communication and understanding in this area can also account for quarrel and conflict between the couple.
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  • Intimacy and sex: This is about sex, the way of expressing and receiving love. It is difficult for couples especially Chinese people to talk and discuss about sex, avoiding or downplaying does not mean that the problem will disappear or resolve with time, but it will unknowingly plant the seeds of problems in the relationship, and finally develop into extramarital affairs.
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  • Others, or the current problems, the communication problem and conflict encountered by the couple now or recently.
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     Good communication is the key to improving the relationship between couples, and personal growth is the foundation for maintaining relationship. Therefore, premarital counselling is indispensable for couples to get married.

What is our service users feedback on premarital or relationship counselling?

  • Learn more about my personality & reflect on effective communication models. It can be applied practically not only in couple relationship but also in relationships with other people.

  • Rethinking more of my own problems and shortcomings, finding capabilities to improve myself, plus learning more possibilities to release myself from the influence of my family of origin.

  • Marriage needs both parties to pay attention, which deepens the meaning of commitment in it, this reminds me to work hard also enjoy it.

  • Thank you! Very good platform to review relationships on technical level. Enjoy the sharing!

  • Have a clear understanding of the impact of the family of origin, the counselling process provides us opportunity to think continuously and deeply, through effective guidance, help each partner expresses own difficulties and weaknesses, with positive re-framing, mutual acceptance and supports among us happen finally.

  • We have experienced such a deep communication that never had before. Thank you!

  • To step into marriage, one will actually experience unprecedented situations & changes, after the counselling process, it become very solid. I feel that I would encounter many problems if I were not well prepared, now I am very glad that I have taken the pre-martial counselling therapy.

  • I feel that all the content in premarital counselling therapy is really powerful, very rich and have plenty of time for sharing and practice.

  • Thank you all the diligent preparations, it is practical very much. This gives us the opportunity to learn about myself, the partner, also the companionship. In the future, it will enhance our support to each other.
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  • In fact, what I have learned can be used not only for the couple relationship, but also applicable in interpersonal relationship with relatives and friends.
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Premarital Counselling Fee:

  • Our counselling service is diversified, we provide Standard Fee Service - Onsite Counselling (HK$1200 per session 50 mins), Sliding Fee Scheme Service (Tier) which is lower and determined by monthly income, and Free Charitable Counselling Service, and Free Counselling Inquiry Service; moreover, we also offer both Online and Offline/Onsite counselling service, please feel free to contact us for details.
  • FREE COUNSELLING can be offered to those in financial difficulty, please click the button below for simple registration, after received your registration, we will get back to you asap.
  • FREE COUNSELLING INQUIRY can be offered to anyone who wish to understand about how counselling can help him/her to handle the issue that he/she is facing. Please click the button below for simple registration, after received your registration, we will get back to you asap.
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