We generally have a negative impression of emotion, and we even tend to think that we make use of it deliberately - that is to manipulate others through emotion, and often label this - "emotional blackmail". Therefore, we all think that the other party may do this, dislike this and feel very bad, therefore, we will not accept the other person when we think that he or she manipulates us by emotion, and we will reject him or her; we neither do not want us to become such a person.
However, in counseling we are reminded of one thing, emotion is a part of an individual, is natural and innate, even the thought are the same, both of the initial feeling and thought float out of our mind naturally, the feeling is neither right nor wrong. When if we reject this natural part - our emotion, we actually reject ourselves; when an individual rejects himself, it will only make himself more difficult and uncomfortable, and seriously create a sense of frustration. Among interpersonal relationship, it will also make others harder and the tension among relationship even tighter. Therefore, instead of resisting, hating, or cursing this dark side of emotion, causing ourselves to fall into deeper negative emotional state, or even falling into the trap of wanting to suppress ourselves or manipulate the other party, we should first accept this human natural part of emotion, this is liked lighting a candle helps you find a way out, and brings the possibility of hope for yourself and others. When we accept the human natural part of emotion, does it mean that we have to choose to follow the negative emotion, or even let them continue to amplify? The answer is not; accepting it does not mean choosing to follow it or amplify it. They are different.
Have you ever tried to blame yourself (or reject yourself) when you feel emotional? And when you blame yourself in this way, how do you feel and what impact does it have on you?
Have you ever tried to blame the other person (or reject the other person) when they are emotional? When you blame the other person in this way, how does the other person feel and react? What impact does it have on your relationship with him/her?